I think I’m becoming bipolar by choice, living on the
fragile border between two worlds, thankfully or maybe regretfully yet being able to discern one from the other. Aura-sensitive people say these days I look transparent. I wonder if this means I’m getting close to changing my frequency one day and disappearing at will like a real alien.
Last night I was analysing your visitations in my dreams and I saw a pattern that alarmed me. It seemed as though you were getting more and more distant. On the very first appearance of yours, when we were on the boat, you were my dear old friend, laughing and sharing stories, in the second you were just smiling from the moon, the third one was a friendly walk but it was mostly me leaning to you, making jokes, and you were serious and calm, somewhat superior and giving me some ‘instructions’ about working on my fears etc. In the very last dream, which I do not consider a visitation, but an invite from me where I summoned you in my lucid dream, you were so remote, so out-of-touch, you didn’t even look at me and it was just me observing your lit-up posture and calling out to you at no avail.
And this made me think of a terrible thing to think, that you are ascending to higher realms and leaving everything, all the memories and earthly experiences behind. Now as a free spirit you see the bigger picture, all your eternal path and on that path I might be just a tiny pixel. You have soul-work of universal importance and all these fears and cravings of mine are but a distraction to you. Until I could stop these thoughts, they already made their naughty way into my unconscious. I calmed it a bit by thinking that you’re my twinflame, there’s no way you could sign me off as unimportant. What came next was probably something that, if vocalised, would sound like a desperate cry while drowning and trying to grasp for air in the midst of a fractured call for He-eee-llppp.
I said “Please, please show me I am wrong, please come to my dream as my dear friend, show me I’m still important to you”. With that strong intention and a plan to wake up in the middle of the night to increase my chances of a lucid dream I went to sleep.
As if by magic, I was woken up by my thirsty daughter at the best time around 3 am. Took my 5-HTP pill which worked in this very combination with a WBTB (wake back to bed) method last time and with my intention engraved in my unconscious went back to bed.
I had something like a semi-lucid dream mixed with a visitation dream.
I was walking, or maybe flying up some stairs and suddenly was up on the roof of a building. In front of me there was another demolished building and at my eye-level there was a room without a facade, all in ruins and there were three friends sitting and having a boisterous talk. He was in the middle. He saw me appear there on this roof and gave a very warm welcome in his usual manner that I could immediately recognise. He said “Look who’s here!!!” and I waved him and blew him two kisses.
I thought “Oh my! This is so real! Might it be that he is not even dead in the physical, maybe he’s just hiding somewhere…”. I knew it was a dream, I just wasn’t controlling it, because it had taken me exactly where I wanted to be.
The next instant he teleported himself right in front of me like a
superhero, giving me the tightest hug one can feel in a dream and a kiss.
I now know you feel the same about me, I always knew it and am very sorry for doubting you…it’s just that the unknown scares me and however hard I try to raise my vibrations and think, or even live on a higher frequency, my fears and human emotions take over sometimes and leave me perplexed.
Be by my side here and now, and always…please.
Together eternally one