One, two, action!

As if it was not enough for me to see and acknowledge the signs from the other side, I suddenly decided to engage with them and see where they might lead me.

I am in a small waiting room, in a queue for submitting some documents, when suddenly I overhear the conversation of the person at the customer service window, who announces his wife’s name, which is so bizarre  that I can’t but play with it in my mind. Her name is Love and her surname is that of a famous local poet.

For some reason I immediately think of the statue of this poet and it feels like someone is whispering that I should travel there right after I leave this place. For an instant I brush this off and say to myself that I’m going nuts and this is way too much, but then I remember the inspirational article I was reading the day before where it was advised that doing new and crazy things were good to our psyche, so I think I’d go on this little adventure just for fun and for the sake of busting the routine.

Once I’m out of the place I drive to the statue. I can see it from the back and turn around to read the name of the poet to be sure I haven’t confused it with some other statue. As soon as I finish reading the name of the poet and reaffirm for myself that this is my destination, I look back in front of me and there’s a car which has our numbers on its number plate, the numbers that stand for Love.

Riddle solved, sign received and engaged with!

I must confess I drove after the taxi just in case if there was anything more to it than just the declaration. But it drove into some backyard and stopped without any further mission.

But I think this was a good warm-up for me and perhaps now that I have seen engaging with the sign can have further depth to it, you might send me on more complex adventures!





Rendezvous for eternity

For some time I have only been getting very subtle signs from you, mostly finding our numbers everywhere I look. It has become so natural though, that I almost started to complain in my thoughts about the vagueness of your interaction. And although I’m trying not to complain about anything these days and be happy and grateful for everything that life brings about, this one has probably made its way into the space and you have picked it up to come and soothe me yet again that you’re there and our thoughts and energies are constantly connected.

As part of my dream experimentation I have started taking a great interest in all related literature, movies and other materials. A recent series came to my attention some time ago and I put it on my to-watch list. Although, again, I’m trying to restrain myself from any TV brainwashing and disturbing information flow these days, special movies still make me revive the otherwise mute black screen.

Here I am, watching the Falling Water series, which is mainly telling about shared dreams, where the protagonists are natural lucid dreamers and they are finding themselves in the same dream with each other to try and solve their real life problems.

One of the protagonists is in love with a dream character who at some point gets into trouble and he is trying to use conscious/lucid dreaming to find and save her. With this storyline unfolding, I was already relating to how I am trying to establish a connection with you through my lucid dreams and how possibly we can help each other through this interaction.

And here comes this episode where the guy finally realises how he can enter the dream to find her, so he rewinds the reality to recover the burnt envelope with the photo clue to the girl’s whereabouts, and when he turns this photo, I am dumbfounded! Of all the possible number combinations in the world there is our number (in reverse, because this is the mirror reflection of the waking reality)!

I take this as another strong sign from you that I am on the right track and the dreamworld and parallel dimensions are the place for us to be…together forever in the infinite eternity.





Like in the movie – no, better!

The other day was your 7 months day. It’s not getting any better, if better is letting you go. But it’s better in the way I have started treating death and understanding life.

It was in the evening that my hubby suggested watching a movie and strangely enough asked me to check out what’s available. My initial thought was to find something that would be close to afterlife love story, but then I decided that it would not be to my hubby’s cinematic palate and started browsing through the new released films. And there it was this absolutely amazing title – A universe for two. This is, in fact, how the movie Correspondence has been translated into my local language, otherwise it wouldn’t even have caught my eye with its cover as I would just scroll it away as another love drama which my hubby hates.

We eventually watched a ‘nice’ thriller, but I was desperately waiting for a moment when I would be alone to watch this movie, that I now read the synopsis for and it was just that, an afterlife love story!


Tonight I watched it.

What can I say? It was a beautiful drama, a heart-breaking love story. I did cry a lot. But there’s one thing that struck me. Before watching the film, I was thinking – Oh, someone
jumped ahead and made a movie about a similar story, something that I was thinking of doing one day, when I would eventually manage to connect with you to the degree I desire – to share with the world, to give hope to those who are grieving, that death is not separation and there are always ways for true love to outlive death into the eternal. This movie didn’t do this. It wasn’t even an afterlife love story after all. I won’t be writing a spoiler here, in case anyone is willing to watch, and I would really recommend watching, as it’s beautiful. But what I realised was that our story is much more powerful, because what you left me are all symbols and memories which let me feel clearly your presence and our connection after you’re gone.

Thank you for this, anyway, I enjoyed the movie and, even more, the after-thoughts, which I’m sure you knew I would arrive at.



Here and Now


The afterlife love story from the beginning


The purple sunflower

Thank you, my dear friend, for your present today. I was waiting for it, I even asked for it, but it didn’t make it less valuable as it came as always as a thoughtful and meaningful sign that reveals all the many ways in which you cared to make it special for me.

It was yesterday that I read this very touching story about a man who gave a sunflower to a complete stranger and this lady had lost her husband shortly before that, so she knew this was a sign from her beloved and was very touched by the gift.

I thought it would be lovely to get a sunflower in similar circumstances, that would be such a wonderful sign from you, but I was doubtful, as the sunflower is not a popular flower over the place here, but anyway I indulged a little into this daydream and then forgot about it.

In the morning, I was walking out of the house with my daughter to take her to the kindergarten. And suddenly the village-man who often sells fruit and vegetables in our neighbourhood rushes to his car and takes out this strange single flower that he hands to me, as if this was his mission for today and he was waiting for me to appear.

I want you to picture this perfectly well, as one might see this like a movie scene, where this stunning-looking lady walks out on the red carpet with hair fluttering in the wind and this Apollo of a man, who just happens to be a villager short of becoming the owner of the largest food-chain in the country, loses his breath and falls to his knees to hand her the flower. In reality, there is this crazy mom, who hardly managed to comb her hair, put on something over a pair of jeans and is rushing to the kindergarten. And on the other hand there is this old villager, who she just greets occasionally in the mornings and hardly ever buys something from.

And here comes this beautiful flower. While handing it to me, he said it was special and rare, a ‘miracle of nature’ as he put it, describing a little further how it grows and what its roots look like.

I immediately thought of the sunflower story, my wish to get such a present from you and then my mind wandered off thinking of the beauty of nature, the miracles of life, how infinitely colourful it is when it is filled with love, openheartedness and positive energy.

It was a bit later that I realised that the flower actually combined two very significant colours, the colours of the flowers which I always put on your grave – white and purple, where white symbolises the purest love and purple symbolises spirituality. For me these are the colours of our relationship and this flower is an absolutely amazing symbol. Thank you!



Open-minded and
fierce I’m in search of my beloved soul in the afterlife.

The afterlife love story from the beginning

Scribbles from the other side

Omg I have a package that you left for me before passing away and I’m holding it in my hands now. No idea where I got it from. It’s an A4 size envelope that I’m opening hastily. Two books and two packs of colour pencils, I gather, for my daughters, one is a bit smaller for my younger daughter and the other is bigger, it’s probably for the elder. You always loved my daughters, I know.

I take out the small red book, flip the cover and there’s a writing that you left for me. I can’t figure out what’s written. What a terrible handwriting you have. I re-read it once, twice…no chance. I put it away and think that I’ll try to decipher it later when I’m home. Wait, where am I?

There’s a sofa in front of me, on it I can see a mid-size grey plush elephant. Great! This is probably your room and you bought yourself an elephant to remind you of your present to me, my Ellie. Above the sofa is a window. I go and check out the view and see some buildings with some billboards in my language, great I’m in my city. This is probably your grandparents’ place.

Suddenly through the window I can see my daughter’s nursery teacher walking past and entering the place. Oh! Ok, so I’m in the nursery. And then there’s a performance by the children and some other dream characters I don’t know and other bizarre stuff. And then I wake up.

I can’t remember when I last woke up so happy and so disappointed at the same time. This wasn’t a visitation dream, like the two ones I had earlier, but getting a trigger from you in a dream was very cute! How on earth could I not recognize this trigger, though. I practise this daily, ask myself if I’m dreaming and check writings on billboards, screens and in books, whether they read fine or are unreadable, which is a red-flashing sign that this is a dream. And here you go, I have this wonderful trigger in the dream and I continue dreaming without wondering why is that that I can’t read what’s written. Bad handwriting…yeah…stupid cow! this is what I call myself in times like this and then immediately I think that it’s such a disgrace for someone like me practicing all the yoga and observing the 8 limbs to label a cow as stupid. Dear cow, please forgive me.

One other technique of lucid dreaming apart from reality checks like reading text, is the Mnemonic Induction of Lucid Dreams (MILD). This is when you use your memory to induce a dream. There are methods like repeating to yourself your intention to become lucid in the dream right before sleep, I do that all the time. The other method is to visualize your last dream and imagine as if it continues and you are lucid in it. So what I did this morning was going back to bed again and trying to resume the dream and become lucid. Didn’t work. Fell asleep and had some other crazy dreams.


When I woke up again I tried another technique. Daydreaming. Easy, I do that all the time. And the Fun! began.

I rewind the dream and then wake up, going on my business. I then meet a friend of my twin in the street and he passes me the package from the dream, saying that it was requested by him that the package be passed to me exactly on this date, that is after I have the dream. So the dream was real! I take out the red little book and flip the cover, it says: “Nothing will ever change my love for you, not even death”. This very sentence he wrote to me back when we were still dating. I cannot read it without tears now.

End of daydream.

Back to reality. Analysis. Dream journal. Writing down all the details of the dreams. Had five in a row tonight. Logging my choice of food and herbs last night that led to this productive dream-night. Bananas and mugwort tea. Although the whole week has been very productive since I started taking mugwort, asparagus roots and B6. This surely is going to lead to a DILD (Dream Induced Lucid Dream) if I don’t forget my reality checks during the day. I’m so close to it. The triggers are there, some dream characters who are already dream signs I can recognize. Just a little left and I will be able to lucid dream at will. And there we can meet and talk and I will hug you oh so strongly.

For those of you who might be new to the subject but interested, here’s a video that you can explore:






The afterlife love story from the beginning.



Wait for me, Ellie or the plush harbor of tears

It’s one of those rare cases, when my lucky number doesn’t give me positive feelings. Today is 5 months since my friend shed his physical body and left this dimension called life.

It hasn’t gotten much easier, it still hurts terribly to think about all the impossibilities, memories are around every corner as are tears ready to pour in response to a song, a place, a name.

The only thing that has changed is the now firm belief that he lives on in a new form. It will still take time and getting used to relate to him in this new way and to accept the egocentric nature of wanting to see and hear and feel him physically, as well as to communicate properly, but I know he’ll be with me every step of the way and I will rise high above the vibration of grief. Here’s a quatrain I have written for inspiration, as I do have moments, when I feel desperate again in this grief-dance.


But the greatest inspiration are of course the beautiful signs I’ve been getting daily with very few exceptions over these 5 months, which I believe are periods when he’s away to deal with some spirit work.

Yesterday it was an extremely powerful one.

He once gave me a present – a huge pink plush elephant. I adored it’s soft texture and would hug and cuddle in his pink depth and softness in moments of joy and sadness. He was an inanimate but very energetically powered substitute of my friend and I even started nicknaming my friend Ellie in honor of this elephant.

My mom threw him away when I got married, she thought he no longer fitted the bedroom of a decent married woman and carried way too much history (energy in my terms). I felt very sad then to have to say goodbye to him, because even though I already said goodbye to the romantic relationship, I could have never said good-bye to the simple and eternal connection of two loving souls. I have kept many other small things, letters and photos which now heal my broken heart in those stormy moments, but I so long now to hug that pink elephant. I was even planning to buy one for my daughter, but couldn’t find any. Apparently a very out-dated produce.

Imagine my amusement, when yesterday while I was having my nails done, I suddenly saw through the window the very same elephant being loaded into some car. My Ellie still exists and I will find him, that’s how I read this sign.

And at that very moment on came this song in the salon:

I’ll be coming home, wait for me, Ellie.



The afterlife love story from the beginning.

Look Up – Lucid dreaming and another sign from my deceased twin

HeartsJulyLooking up has become a routine for me now in search of signs from my deceased twin-soul. Heart-shaped clouds are my favourites.

It’s been about a month since the last one I saw and today I was looking at the sky, no hearts…I thought, well it’s probably not that simple for him to draw hearts every time I look at the sky, I’ve had plenty already and shouldn’t be asking for so many more. It took seconds for these three hearts to shape up right above me! Not as clear as the last heart, but given that there are three of them, I assume he’s not had enough time to bring them all to perfection 🙂

Looking up has also become a reality check technique for me in attempting lucid dreaming.

Since my last visitation dream where he appeared in the moon, I decided I should use the sky as a reality check, as in the dream the sky may appear so unrealistically fantastic and cosmic that it can well work as a sign of a dream.

In case anyone’s interested, this is how it works:

  1. Look at the sky during the day as frequently as possible and ask  yourself very sincerely whether you are in a dream.
  2. If the sky is beautiful, as it’s always beautiful, but still kind of usual, then you just tell yourself that this is not a dream.
  3. If the sky is unrealistic and cosmic, like you can see planets, a huge moon or stars, colours etc, then you are dreaming. From this moment on you have become lucid and can start controlling your dream environment.

The key to the success is the frequency with which you do this exercise and the sincerity of wondering whether this is a dream, because really, you never know when you are in a dream. Sometimes a dream, however fantastic it is, feels like reality during the dream and you don’t realize you’re dreaming because your critical mind is shut off. The frequency also helps make this a habit and therefore increase chances of you to look up to the sky in your dream!

So far only flying dreams have worked for me in prompting lucidity, but I’m sure the “look up” method is well worth a try!

Follow my blog to learn about my progress with lucid dreaming and astral projection!





The afterlife love story from the beginning.