It was one of these mornings when I wake up with a call, an insistent urge to do something. I felt I absolutely needed to go to that park, where we used to walk and which always catches my eye from random spots in the city with its colorful Ferris wheel and the massive monument which seems to mark the highest peek of the city.
And as I always do nowadays, I followed my intuition and drove to this conservation park of our memories. It has a long promenade which leads to an observation spot and there at the end of the path is a stone bench, where you carved ‘I love you, Hope. 1999’ with the souvenir knife that I bought for you in Toledo.
Not every memory I have is as minutely vivid as that of us sitting on this bench and you scribbling hard-to-carve letters one by one to make their way into eternity.
It was a gloomy morning, the skies all gray and I thought, although I’m loving this moody autumnal scenery I am going to miss the hearts in the clouds which I used to get quite often and which will now become a rare spotting because there will be more grays than blues & whites in the sky for the next two seasons.
As I was driving I already noticed a transformation in the sky and when I was walking in the park I could already see the clear blues above my head and tiny cloud knots forming like cotton candy here and there.
A minute later a new monument caught my eye that I had never seen before. I know every inch of the place and I would notice even a new shrub or a stone rearranged, but a monument was a surprise. It was an oriental sculpture of a cross, Persian, I thought, and stopped to give it a closer look as I felt it was there for a reason, as if my mind had erected it for me to find at that very moment in that very place. I knew what exactly I was looking for and my eye caught it immediately. Your name was written in the bottom inscription. It was a one in a million chance for the benefactor’s name to be that and no other. Your name is rare in these places and finding it usually is a sign in itself, but as always your signs are rich and complex just like your deep personality is. I looked up and there it was, my long awaited giant solitaire cloud heart right above the monument.
You have always been very generous for sharing the beauty of your creative energy and I have been one lucky woman to have been the object of your love. One of the things I am very sorry about is not having thanked you for making my life so beautiful, so amazingly loveful and one of a kind. I would never be able to return you even one hundredth of it, if at all it was possible to measure. ..
And your sky canvas was generously heartful that afternoon as if you were drawing the hearts for me to cherish in advance of the winter dry spell.
I know you can now feel all my appreciation for your loving spirit’s gifts, but I will still find a way to say “Thank you!” while looking into your deep cosmic eyes. And that time is near!
bridge to the afterlife…