Lucid encounter #3

I’m getting better at summoning you into my lucid dream! Tonight, finally!, I was able to get a “real” you, and not a still luminous figure or a holographic copy as I used to before!

I took the HTP-5 supplement, which has proved to be quite helpful for me in inducing lucid dreams combined with the wake-back-to-bed (WBTB) technique. I also used the mnemonic induction technique (MILD) where I did affirmations right before sleep, repeating to myself “this is a dream” right to the moment where I switch off. I also made a plan of actions for once I would be lucid to a) summon you and ask you about the missing painting and b) brush up my piano tribute to you where I’m a bit stuck with the main theme.

At some point in the dream, where I was wandering in some backyards that were familiar but slightly different, I somehow realised that this wasn’t the place where I last remembered myself being conscious and TADA! I was lucid! I checked my hands as I often do for a reality check and I could see my fingers fading, so I was 100% sure I was in a dream.

Interestingly, I could also remember that my last attempt at summoning you through the door technique wasn’t successful and so I almost unconsciously used a different technique, where I said to myself “I will turn around now and you will be there behind a tree”. I turned around and oh my! you were there!!!

I ran up to you and hugged you. I was overwhelmingly happy! At some point I drifted into a less conscious dream, as I don’t remember some details, and I certainly forgot to ask you about the painting ūüė¶ But at some point I remembered about the plan to play the piano and I could again see you at my side sitting on a sofa. On my right side was the piano. I sat at it and attempted to play, but I realised that there was some other noise in the room that was interfering with the piano. There were two blonde girls in the room with us who were supposedly watching the TV. And again I drifted off here and do not remember anything else of what happened next.

In the morning I woke up with a broad smile on my face as I could still feel the warmness of our embrace, like the subtle trail of perfume, an aftertaste of fizzy wine…I am grateful for having been in your company for at least the time of that brief encounter. See you soon!




Dream control


Rendezvous for eternity

For some time I have only been getting very subtle signs from you, mostly finding our numbers everywhere I look. It has become so natural though, that I almost started to complain in my thoughts about the vagueness of your interaction. And although I’m trying not to complain about anything these days and be happy and grateful for everything that life brings about, this one has probably made its way into the space and you have picked it up to come and soothe me yet again that you’re there and our thoughts and energies are constantly connected.

As part of my dream experimentation I have started taking a great interest in all related literature, movies and other materials. A recent series came to my attention some time ago and I put it on my to-watch list. Although, again, I’m trying to restrain myself from any TV brainwashing and disturbing information flow these days, special movies still make me revive the otherwise mute black screen.

Here I am, watching the Falling Water series, which is mainly telling about shared dreams, where the protagonists are natural lucid dreamers and they are finding themselves in the same dream with each other to try and solve their real life problems.

One of the protagonists is in love with a dream character who at some point gets into trouble and he is trying to use conscious/lucid dreaming to find and save her. With this storyline unfolding, I was already relating to how I am trying to establish a connection with you through my lucid dreams and how possibly we can help each other through this interaction.

And here comes this episode where the guy finally realises how he can enter the dream to find her, so he rewinds the reality to recover the burnt envelope with the photo clue to the girl’s whereabouts, and when he turns this photo, I am dumbfounded! Of all the possible number combinations in the world there is our number (in reverse, because this is the mirror reflection of the waking reality)!

I take this as another strong sign from you that I am on the right track and the dreamworld and parallel dimensions are the place for us to be…together forever in the infinite eternity.





Just another dream that vanished

Isn’t it amazing how in a dream you just switch off a certain part of your memory and live out some crazy scenarios without questioning. You remember the people, their names, some previous activities and relationship history but you forget some other aspects of ‘real’ life.

I tend to forget in my dreams that you’re not alive anymore. Is it because deep down in my mind I do not accept this fact, and by this I mean really NOT accepting, because in the dream you would usually get your hidden fears, desires and thoughts revealed and slapped in your face. So if it were just not fully accepting and running away from ‘reality’, I would probably be forced to accept the naked truth outright in my dream. But I am not.

It took me weeks of pleading for you to finally visit me in a dream again. And it was such a nice getaway from the pain and tears of the last couple of days.

I ran into you during a yoga retreat in some Austrian countryside spot. There were beautiful green hills, quirky pathways and cosy tents. I was surprised to see you there as it wasn’t typical of you to attend such events. But I was delighted to have a chance to spend some time with you. We were riding bicycles and chit-chatting. And the cutest gift of the dream was the warmest hug I gave you which lit you up with happiness.

I woke up with endless warmness in my heart and with a reinforced intention to get back to the active lucid dreaming practice to have a more conscious interaction with you.

Thank you for the visit and for giving me some peace of mind for a while that you’re still there for me and are just a dream away.



Finding Your Place


Knock-knock, are you there? [Lucid dream No.2]

This time it was my flagship dream-induced lucid dream (DILD) where I start flying and realise it’s a dream. I used to have these dreams for as long as I remember myself, much more frequently in the past, none in the last 10 years and with all the practice nowadays I am starting to recover.

I was on the beach with a friend of mine, got into the sea with my jeans on, stepped in too deep at some point and got my trousers all wet. Ran out of the water and this vast sandy beach was so inviting, as a runway for a plane, and I ran forward to take off flying. As soon as I did, I realised that I was dreaming. I landed immediately and started to look for you in an urgent rush.

It’s so interesting the way our subconscious works…it stores everything, our intentions, our memories of the past and future, of the eternity, all our choices, all our fears and desires. I believe, it stores the entire consciousness.

In a lucid dream we are able to access all of that, interact with this existential source, extract valuable data and even programme ourselves. Of course our mind is unable to interpret all of the data and so it translates it into symbols, shapes, sounds, colours, places and even people.

Lucid dreams are amazing, I think there is such a huge potential hidden therein that could be transformational for humanity. Perhaps this is the key to unlocking the door to the 95% of the spare potential of our brains that we are currently not able to utilise.

Doors…this is an effective technique for lucid dream control. When you want to change the dreamscape or want something to appear, the easiest way is to look for a door and have the intention of finding what you want behind that door.

I used this technique to find you, but I probably had a weak intention or maybe there was some disbelief and you weren’t there, not behind the first, nor the second and all the following doors…

I was very sad but in a dream you have to act quickly, otherwise you will lose control. So I decided I would fly again and I flew to the moon. An amazing flight it was, I sped up at some point and next thing I could see when I turned around was the blue and white of the Earth from space.

I didn’t get to the moon, though, because at some point I started thinking, and thinking/reasoning is not so good in a dream. I thought whether the space really is how we know it or maybe it’s an illusion, a lie and suddenly everything around me turned into light blue and white cardboard, torn and folded here and there…

I ruined the dream or maybe it was the manifestation of my new reality without you…all torn and lifeless…

Where are you? When will I find you again in my dream? Perhaps I should look in the places where you appeared in the past dreams. Or maybe I just have to place a stronger intention. I know it’s a matter of time and I will find the right door,
trust me. I will open it and you will be waiting there ready to take me into your arms and to tell me again “Look who’s there!”.




Embraced by your presence on the frequency of love [Successful Out of Body Experience]

Tonight I registered some progress! It wasn’t groundbreaking but still it was a breakthrough that left further cracks and craters in my late ‘reality’ and self consciousness which was significantly shattered after your passing and my brief but profound and mind-altering experiences with lucid dreaming and astral projection/phasing/OOBE.

Tonight again I made up my mind to try to enter a wake-induced lucid dream (WILD) through wake-back-to-bed and FILD techniques (sorry for the extensive terminology). I woke up to my alarm, took the 5 HTP neurotransmitter pill which has proved to be successful twice already in this scenario, put on my headphones to listen to some binaural music which I also find quite helpful and set my intentions for the dream.

I’m still analysing what happened next, because it was different both from a lucid dream and from the first projection experience I had some time ago. But it was mind-blowing!

In about 20-30 minutes I realised my body was asleep and my consciousness was free. I thought I would be entering the dream, like I often do, from the very beginning into some dreamscape, but I was still in my room and in the same reality as I continued to perceive it, but without a body.  No indicators of a dream at all, just trance-like state. I have had a number of lucid dreams to know the difference. And with all these altered states knowing is usually the only truth and evidence.

At this point I restarted¬†the FILD (finger technique which involves slightly tapping the index and middle fingers to keep consciousness awake while the body sets off to sleep). I felt an electric current in my fingers. I levitated upwards from my bed and was thinking of the next steps, because I could obviously feel this wasn’t a dream and therefore my dream plans were irrelevant. I also got extremely excited just like the first time and felt that I was being sucked back ¬†into my body. Just then I realised I was feeling your presence around me. I didn’t “see” you but I knew you were there. I could feel this presence in thought, in heart and in spirit.

I wish I could have stayed longer and I would definitely get my birthday hug. But there’s no hurry, we have an eternity ahead of us. Eternity plus the time I’m destined¬†to spend here trying to connect with you from one world to the other, tuned into your frequency, the frequency of love.

But now I’m off to put on the facade of an ordinary woman, interested in work and routine, political talks and instagram gastronomy.



My bi-reality – Visitation No 4

I think I’m becoming bipolar by choice, living on the
fragile border¬†between two worlds, thankfully or maybe regretfully yet being able to discern one from the other. Aura-sensitive people say these days I look transparent. I wonder if this means I’m getting close to changing my frequency one day and disappearing at will like a real alien.

Last night I was analysing your visitations in my dreams and I saw a pattern that alarmed me. It seemed as though you were getting more and more distant. On the very first appearance of yours, when we were on the boat, you were my dear old friend, laughing and sharing stories, in the second you were just smiling from the moon, the third one was a friendly walk but it was mostly me leaning to you, making jokes, and you were serious and calm, somewhat superior and giving me some ‘instructions’ about working on my fears etc. In the very last dream, which I do not consider a visitation, but an invite from me where I summoned you in my lucid dream, you were so remote, so out-of-touch, you didn’t even look at me and it was just me observing your lit-up posture and calling out to you at no avail.

And this made me think of a terrible thing to think, that you are ascending to higher realms and leaving everything, all the memories and earthly experiences behind. Now as a free spirit you see the bigger picture, all your eternal path and on that path I might be just a tiny pixel. You have soul-work of universal importance and all these fears and cravings of mine are but a distraction to you. Until I could stop these thoughts, they already made their naughty way into my unconscious. I calmed it a bit by thinking that you’re my twinflame, there’s no way you could sign me off as unimportant. What came next was probably something that, if vocalised, would sound like a desperate cry while drowning and trying to grasp for air in the midst of a fractured call for He-eee-llppp.

I said “Please, please show me I am wrong, please come to my dream as my dear friend, show me I’m still important to you”. With that strong intention and a plan to wake up in the middle of the night to increase my chances of a lucid dream I went to sleep.

As if by magic, I was woken up by my thirsty daughter at the best time around 3 am. Took my 5-HTP pill which worked in this very combination with a WBTB (wake back to bed) method last time and with my intention engraved in my unconscious went back to bed.

I had something like a semi-lucid dream mixed with a visitation dream.

I was walking, or maybe flying up some stairs and suddenly was up on the roof of a building. In front of me there was another demolished building and at my eye-level there was a room without a facade, all in ruins and there were three friends sitting and having a boisterous talk. He was in the middle. He saw me appear there on this roof and gave a very warm welcome in his usual manner that I could immediately recognise. He said “Look who’s here!!!” and I waved him and blew him two kisses.

I thought “Oh my! This is so real! Might it be that he is not even dead in the physical, maybe he’s just hiding somewhere…”. I knew it was a dream, I just wasn’t controlling it, because it had taken me exactly where I wanted to be.

The next instant he teleported himself right in front of me like a
superhero, giving me the tightest hug one can feel in a dream and a kiss.

I now know you feel the same about me, I always knew it and am very sorry for doubting you…it’s just that the unknown scares me and however hard I try to raise my vibrations and think, or even live on a higher frequency, my fears and human emotions take over sometimes and leave me perplexed.

Be by my side here and now, and always…please.



Together eternally one


The afterlife love story from the beginning

Holographic you (Lucid dream no. 1)

Yesterday night I had my first lucid dream in the AY (it still is a challenge¬†for me¬†to define or even think of your absence as of¬†death, passing away…). If¬†for the best part of the world there is an era defined as¬†BC – Before Christ, then the¬†era that started for me 6 months ago is the AY – After You.

I used to have natural lucid dreams in my teens, I didn’t even know they were special, I thought¬†it was common for everyone to have them. I lost this special ability to the routine of life, to¬†its worries and fast paces. I only remembered about them when you were gone and I was searching for the ways to find you, to connect with you.

After months of practice and failed attempts (grief is a very bad companion on the lucid dream journey), I finally became lucid in my dream of yesterday.

I’ve been taking a supplement that is supposed to help with lucidity and on the 6th day of taking it I got the desired¬†result. Of course, it was combined with many other techniques and daily practice, but this will hopefully not remain a unique experience, rather a start of a wonderful journey ahead. Everything came gradually and I’m sure this is just the beginning.

And so I gently slip into the dream after waking¬†and going back to bed taking my supplement¬†(this is¬†the important technique)¬†and instantly realize I’m in a dream. I am standing in front of a mirror where I know I see myself. The reflection in the mirror as I recall it now is not my usual reflection, in fact isn’t me at all, but a different face I distinctly remember, glowing with a white positive¬†light, which for some reason I take for myself in a dream. Perhaps this is my dream self or even some higher self, but that would take further attempts to figure out.

I remember, or my subconscious has it, that I set myself three intentions for the next time I become lucid:

1. Fly

2. Summon you

3. Compose music

Here I am flying. I clearly see all the landscapes below, from a bird’s eye view. I missed this sensation of flight that I used to experience pretty often as a teenager. It somehow gives the feel of lightness, freedom and carefree adolescence, and with the loss of these in life it was only natural to lose their reflection in the dreams. I feel like my yogic practice and the meditations have brought back some of this peace of mind and happy sattvic state which found their echo in the flying dreams.

Next item on my list and it was on my mind throughout the flight, as if I was trying to prepare for it and get some energy or maybe courage.¬†Next thing¬†I’m calling out for you. Never did anything like that in my past lucid dreams, but I’m expecting it to work like an instant teleportation to where you are or you manifesting right there by the power of my thought. The latter turns out to be the way it works, at least that time in that dream. I can see you standing in some distance, in a red t-shirt this time. But you look aloof, detached, don’t even look at me. I try to call you again, but you still do not turn my way. You even look strict, as if I didn’t have to do this and this was inappropriate. I let you go and the rest of the plans don’t matter, so I leave the music thing for another occasion and just give myself in to the flow of the dream, occasionally telling some of the dream characters that this is a dream they’re in and catching their surprised looks.

I have some more non-lucid dreams before I wake up. But despite the fact of the succeeded attempt of a lucid dream I woke up depressed and sad. I am still trying to figure what it was that I manifested…was it just a holographic lifeless projection of my memory of you, or was it you, but forced into my dream at an inappropriate time. I feel like I’ve wronged it but again it would take some more attempts to figure that out. I must admit I am a bit scared of attempting that again, to meet your cold and iron-like figure instead of the long awaited super-tight hug is something I am not at all prepared for. But I am a stupid cow (sorry, cow), remember? I won’t stop until I’m told so¬†in¬†my face, so if there is something wrong in calling you into my dream, you will have to tell me that. I very much hope, though, that this is¬†just a failed first¬†pancake and that we have an amazing journey ahead of us. I worked so hard to get there…





The afterlife love story from the beginning